I’m going to share something very personal because the Lord’s shown it greatly affects the Body of Christ.  This post is a little longer than normal, because several things needed to be brought out.  Please pray before proceeding, and read to the end. 

Many are asking, “How can I experience greater intimacy with God?  I want a close and personal relationship with Him, but I don’t know what to do. I’ve studied and prayed, but it seems He doesn’t hear my prayers, and I feel so lonely…”  Let me now share what the Lord’s shown about this:

Several years ago, God woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to sit up in the bed.  After a while, He asked,

“What do you want?”

I was stunned and had no idea what to say.  He asked me the question three times before I finally uttered, “I just want to know You, and be known by You.” 

I’ve pondered His question many times, knowing there must be more than I was able to understand at the time.  Recently, God led me through a series of events to show the significance of what was asked.

A few weeks ago I was praying over the phone with a friend.  She regularly receives words of knowledge and understanding as she prays in the Spirit. Out of the blue she began telling me what she’d received while praying.

She saw me dressed in a beautiful white garment.  But then she saw my heart, and there was a small black “dot” in the middle of it.  As she was telling me this, she said, “As I see this black dot, I’m also getting the words “fear” and “intimacy.”  Diana, could it be you’re afraid of intimacy?” 

At first, I was shocked that my friend was basically telling me my heart was flawed, containing some kind of dark spot.  But the Holy Spirit immediately bore witness that it was true!  The words fear and intimacy then pointed me in the direction of my past, where various traumas – from childhood into my adult life – had caused much pain and sorrow.  

It’s obvious how these things could cause one to have a fear of intimacy.  I realized it must be a well-hidden fear for me, because I hadn’t even been aware of it.  So I prayed, asking the Lord to show me whatever else I needed to understand about the matter.  Then I filed it away thinking, “Everyone has hurt and pain to one degree or another from the past.  God knows all this and will heal us – even down to removing the scars that remain in our hearts.”  Little did I know this was just the tip of the iceberg!

About a week later, I was praying with another friend who operates in various gifts of the Spirit.  We were standing in the gap, interceding on behalf of Saints who’d asked for prayer.  On this particular occasion I was led high into the sky (in the spirit) where I was flying over the surface of the earth. I watched from a bird’s eye view as the Lord sent light, peace, and encouragement to His people.

After praying, my friend asked, “Where did you go?”  and then explained how, at a particular point during the prayer, I’d “stopped” or “held back,” and that the Holy Spirit wanted to do more, but that’s as far as I could go.

A couple days later, this same individual said God showed it to be something in my heart holding me back.  I was really shaken, as this was the second time in two weeks I’d been told by individuals who I knew were mighty Spirit-led warriors of God that something in my heart was hindering and holding me back in some way!  At that point, I began to weep. 

With tears flowing, I began repenting to God for holding back anything from Him and asked to be shown what it was.  Suddenly, I heard my friend ask, (transcript of conversation)

Friend:  “Diana, What do you want?”

Me:  “Oh, my!  That’s the same question God asked me a few years ago!  My answer is still the same, ‘I only want to know Him and to be known by Him.”

Friend:  “Stop – Wait!  Do not answer this question from your head.  Go to the depths of your being, your heart and soul for the answer.”

I got really quiet, and then it was as if a candle lit inside me, exposing the contents of my heart.  The following words began to pour forth:

“My entire life, my greatest desire has been for someone to care enough about me that they would want to get to know me – to really know me; and they would open up and allow me to really know them.”

As soon as the words were spoken, the Holy Spirit said, “This is also God’s desire!”

Then I saw it!  The black dot was a blockage in my heart, only allowing God so far.  From what was already revealed I knew it contained pain and trauma.  But what was puzzling is how could all this still be in my heart at all?  After all these years, hadn’t I already given these things to God?  What the Lord showed next completely shocked me.

To have intimacy with God requires we enter into the “secret place” to commune with Him.  This place is the inner chamber – a bridal chamber – which was represented in the physical temple as the Holy of Holies (see Come to the Garden). As we know, Satan counterfeits the things of God, and the Lord has shown he also has a secret chamber!

From the time you were born, the devil has worked to construct a secret place in your heart.  It’s a well hidden fortress with impenetrable walls – the devil’s hiding place – from which he seeks to commune with you.  In this place dwell all your secrets: trauma, pain, guilt, shame, etc.  Even though we may not be mentally conscious of this place, it acts as a barrier to the intimacy with God (and other humans) we so desperately desire.   It’s hidden so well only the Holy Spirit can lead you to it.  

After the revealing of the black “dot” in my heart, I cried out to God, asking what I was to do.  I received that I needed to spend much time before the Lord asking to be shown this place.  I was to allow the Holy Spirit shine light into it, that the hidden things found there be brought out and laid bare before Him.  Although I didn’t fully understand what I was seeing at the time, God reminded me He’s already shown what’s being asked of His people in a series of dreams given back in 2016.  Please read ‘Final Acts of the Church’ in light of what’s being shared here.

Only God can tear down and destroy the fortress of the enemy within our heart.  Our part is to willingly bring everything before Him. We must hammer our prayers into fine powder, leaving nothing out.  Don’t try to hide, dress up, or disguise your sin. Don’t be vague when repenting, saying things like, “Father, please forgive me for my sinful thoughts and actions this afternoon.”  WHAT WERE THEY?  Call it what it is and discuss them with your Father!  Ask Him to show you what you need to see.  Plead the BLOOD of JESUS over them!  Ask the GRACE of God be extended and applied to you – to be set free of the chains of bondage!

The Lord wants us to understand our deepest desire for intimacy with God – is also His desire.  To fully know Him, and to be known by Him, we must become ONE with Him.  Oneness is obtained through open communication with nothing standing between. 

It’s only when we can appear naked and unashamed before our God that we are finally able to say, as Jesus did, “He has nothing in me!”  Once the hiding place of the devil is destroyed, our prayers will no longer be hindered.  We’ll be able to soar on the wings of the eagle as high as the Spirit desires to take us. 

Saints, the Lord has impressed upon me the urgency of this message to His people.  He’s giving glimpses of how, as each enters into communion with Him, we are then “connected,” becoming ONE in the Spirit with Him and each other.  This is how the Body of Christ will do even greater works than Jesus.  These are the ones who will be used as instruments of His Righteousness, sent forth to enter the mighty fortresses of the enemy and set captives free!

I ask each of you to please join me in prayer for more revelation and interpretation of how this may apply to each of us. 

Related Posts:

Final Acts of the Church

Come to the Garden

You Will Be My Instruments of Righteousness!

Scripture References:

Genesis 2:25, “And the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed.”

Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, and let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

Luke 8:17, “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, not anything hidden that will not be known and come to light.”

John 1:5, “And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.”

John 14:30, “I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me.”